Casino stop, turkey sh**, and I found out I stink at home

You just never know how a day will start out. Today was a good start, but then came an interesting conversation with Joan as we departed “Budget Lodging” in St. Clair, Missouri and headed west on I-44.

“I need to tell you something,” Joan said. My immediate unspoken reaction was “uh-oh this could be bad.” Now what I am going to relate to you is my best recollection of the ensuing conversation and my admission that I may have somewhat over reacted to what Joan said, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Me on the road, according to Joan

“You know when we’re on the road, when you get up before me and shower I notice how good you smell when you get out of the shower,” Joan said. (So far, so good). “I always notice that when we’re traveling.” (She should have stopped there).

“When we are home we live in that big house and you get up and go to the gym and when you come home it’s just not the same,” she said.

“So what you’re saying is that I smell good on the road and stink at home,” I said.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, I just notice how good you smell in a small hotel room,” Joan said.

“But, I don’t smell like that at home,” I said.

“That’s not what I’m saying, I just don’t smell you like that at home,” she said.

Me at home, according to Joan

“OK, I get it, at home I stink and on the road I smell good,” I said. The conversation continued like that for a dozen or so miles until she realized I was collecting as much info for this essay as I could.

“You’re not going to write about that, are you?,” she said.

“Of course not,” I told her.

Anyway, I reminded her all day about how much I stink at home and how good I smell on the road.

I also learned a new valuable tool for getting her on the road in the morning. Last night before we headed for bed, I told her that if we got on the road early we might have time for a brief stop at the Buffalo Run Casino just inside the Oklahoma/Missouri border later in the morning.

Well, let me tell you, she was up and at it and performed her morning makeup ritual in record time.

Lesson learned.

Joan is behind Door No. 2

We did make a quick stop (about an hour) at the Buffalo Run Casino and left down just a very few dollars. It was a nice break from the road and because we don’t eat lunch actually cost less than a fast food lunch.

I spent my usual time waiting for Joan outside restrooms.

The morning at departure time was crisp and 31-degrees, although it briefly dropped to 29-degrees, coincidentally enough during our “smells good on the road and stinks at home” conversation.

Somewhere about mile marker 151 in Missouri I approached a large truck carrying a large number of live, caged turkeys. There had to be hundreds of medium sized turkeys on this truck. Feathers were flying like rain and suddenly so was some obnoxious white liquid turkey poop which painted the front of my Tahoe and windshield. The windshield was cleaned fairly well with the wipers but the front of my car is speckled with turkey crap.

I could swear I saw a couple turkeys smiling as I passed them to the left. I simply smiled back with the knowledge that Thanksgiving is only 10 ½ -months away.

The Missouri highway department has some clever lighted warning signs, my favorite today was a reminder to potential drunk drivers: “Drive Hammered. Get Nailed.”

We finished the Shaara book “A Chain of Thunder” and after leaving Buffalo Run we listed to the Buffalo Bills and New York Jets game which came out in favor of the Bills which made Joan very happy.

Joan also spotted several fields full of cows and pronounced “they look happy.”

“Probably because they don’t stink like me at home,” I said. As you can see I had a lot of fun with that conversation all day, and likely will continue on with that theme for awhile.

Our usual OKC stop

We made good time (speed limits on the Oklahoma Turnpike are 75 mph) and checked into our old standby “Governor’s Suites and headed to dinner at Joan’s favorite “Texas Roadhouse.” We didn’t have to wait (although it soon became packed) and ate dinner surrounded by a couple dozen utility workers who are here on business, perhaps cleaning up lines from the recent storms here.

Tomorrow’s destination: Albuquerque.

Mileage out: 34496

Mileage in: 34956

Time out: 7:55 a.m. (CST)

Time in: 4:15 (CST)